42 - Alarm Clock
42 – Alarm Clock – Describe the scene after your alarm goes off.
This is probably
my least favourite prompt because it’s a cliché. Having your
character start their story by waking up is an easy way to introduce them, but
it’s been done so many times before – and it takes a particularly interesting
approach to refresh the cliché and produce a new alarm clock opener. Which is
what we’re going to attempt this week.
Starter Task– Finding the Hook
The opening of a story is probably the most important part. When done right an author can hook their reader within the first page, some even get you in the first paragraph, or the first sentence. Take a look at these examples,
“Marley was dead,
to begin with.” A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
This is a classic story, with an almost shocking opening line. It sparks all manner of questions – Who was Marley? Why is he dead? And why is that where we begin? Dickens doesn’t start with a question, but he makes the reader ask them. Starting with a question is intriguing, it draws you in, makes you want to read more.
“We came on the
wind of the carnival. A warm wind for February, laden with the hot greasy scents
of frying pancakes and sausages and powdery-sweet waffles cooked on the
hotplate right there by the roadside, with the confetti sleeting down collars
and cuffs and rolling in the gutters like an idiot antidote to winter.”
Chocolat, Joanne Harris
This opening uses the assonance of a repeated ‘w’ to create the sound of the wind, but then follows it with this long list of carnival delights that stop you in your tracks. The author uses sound and sight and smell to create a scene of richness all beginning with that warm wind. Using sound in this way is compelling because it helps to create a sensory landscape. Other authors use a bang or a crash, some kind of onomatopoeia to catch your interest and give the characters something to react to.
“Lyra and her
daemon moved through the darkening Hall, taking care to keep to one side, out
of sight of the kitchen.” Northern Lights, Phillip Pullman
Introducing Lyra as a silent, surreptitious character Pullman immediately piques our interest. This is not a big, loud battle scene, but rather a subtle, quiet moment where the reader has time to absorb the surroundings – imagining the Hall - with a capital letter – which adds grandness against the humbler idea of the kitchen. Starting with action and movement says a lot about your character, and jumping in to moving action starts with an excitement that keeps your reader reading.
“Come home, Tenar!
Come home!” The Tombs of Atuan, Ursula K Le Guin
Beginning with some kind of warning or an imperative like ‘Stop!’ or ‘Wait!’ gives the reader an immediate jolt. We want to know why, what is the threat. Starting with dialogue can help to create a scene and introduce strange voices that are intriguing.
“We slept in what
had once been the gymnasium. The floor was of varnished wood, with stripes and
circles painted on it, for the games that were formerly played there; the hoops
for the basketball nets were still in place, though the nets were gone.” The
Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood
Although she doesn’t use any figurative language, the author introduces this place by describing what is and what is not there. The scene is unbalanced, this is a place of sports and games that is bereft of fun and enjoyment. This is a place of contrast, which is intriguing. Creating vivid images to introduce your story, using metaphor, simile or even personification creates an interesting scene and draws the reader in.
Openings have to
hook the reader, they need to draw us in, make us curious. We come across these
techniques in every book, at the start of every chapter. So, for the Starter
this week, I want you to try and find an example of each of these opening techniques.
Analyse it, how do you think it makes the reader want to continue reading? Take
10 minutes.
- With a Question
- With a Sound
- With Action
- With Dialogue
- With Vivid Imagery
Idea Developer
So, now we’ve
identified what makes a good opening, we’re now going to try and make the
alarm-clock start interesting.
It’s easy to just
start with the alarm blaring and rush into the story from there, but that kind
of 0-60 writing is not always a great demonstration of skill because you can’t
craft while you’re running.
Instead, we’re going to start in a dream and use the cliché for our own benefit. By starting in a dream, we can use a more expressive opening style and start with interesting language choices or dialogue or action using a dream-world’s more fuzzy logic to create something that doesn’t have to make sense, which makes it more intriguing. Take a look at this example,
The fox rolled a six and skipped forward seven spaces, sliding slyly onto Mayfair. I looked up, glairing sternly, and he stepped back onto Super Tax with a sigh.
“What do you expect,” the badger said, plucking out a strange little tune on his lute. “He’s never been an honest gambler. And now he’s bankrupt.”
“Am
not,” complained the fox, but he looked down at his dwindling cash with chagrin.
“I have Waterworks… Oh, and your cash is burning.”
“My
cash… Badger, can you play a little quieter?” The scent of burning reached my
nose, building as the badger’s claws plucked harder.
“Beck, your toast’s done! Turn off
that thing and get down here!”
The random idea of
a game of Monopoly with forest creatures being disturbed by burnt toast creates
an opening with questions, some interesting language choices AND
characterisation. Why does this character dream of woodland creatures? Why
Monopoly? I’m not entirely sure where this idea came from, but I’m eager to
continue.
Think about a dream situation, write down images and ideas that you can remember from your own dreams, or just random thoughts – that is what dreams are after all. Jumble the ideas together as much as you like and describe the scene in a rough paragraph or two.
Don’t forget to
build in the alarm – it could be music, a blaring sound, or a sensory clue like
burning toast. Take a good 10 minutes.
Planning Ideas
So, hopefully
you’ve been able to create a really random and intriguing dreamscape to open your
story with and now we need to actually begin the story.
I’m going to
introduce a different planning grid, this one develops a character’s
motivations to make it easier to decide on their immediate actions in response
to a situation. Built as a pyramid, this chart allows you to add more detail in
each stage, developing the ideas as you go.
The Situation – What is happening?
First Thought – What is their first thought in this situation?
What is the plan
for today? What event is happening/expected? Expand on the situation
Why is this
important? – What events does it link to? Why does it need to happen?
What does the
character need? – What does the character need to do/get/prepare for it?
We’re only looking at the opening so this grid makes it easier to find a focus for our character. Smaller steps that could eventually lead to a longer story. Hers is what I have sketched out based on my woodland games example;
Beck has a meeting with an investor about a
wildlife conservation project.
Beck’s first thought is – am I ready for
this? I’m not ready for this? I can’t do this.
Beck’s Plan is to wake up early, leave in
good time and arrive very early to make a good impression.
This meeting is important because Beck
needs investment to finish the project that will make the business a household
name, a success. Beck has been working for years to get to this point.
Beck needs to shower, dress well and be
presentable, to collect together all the documents and models and presentation,
to get on the road by 6:45 and not meet any significant traffic on the way. Beck
needs to be ready to dazzle the investor.
Here I have built
a foundation and motivation for my character’s actions. At this point I don’t
know – and I don’t need to know - how the story will end. This is my foundation
and should be a good source of ideas and direction until this event is over. A
story is a series of connected events that create an arc from beginning to end.
I consider this as a stepping stone, which might be the basis of a short story
or the opening of a novel.
If you decide to
try and write a novel in the future, using this pyramid can help you to reason
out your character’s immediate choices and actions when they face each new
situation.
42 – Alarm Clock – Describe the scene after your alarm goes off.
For this writing task I want you to extend the dream into the real world, have your character wake up and get ready for this day because there is something important happening. Have a good run at this one, at least 4 paragraphs – and if you want to extend the dream part feel free, but don’t get stuck there, you should end up with more details in the waking world.
Take 15-20
minutes, and don’t forget to DARE. This one will really appreciate being
carefully revised.
Reflection
Look back at your work and answer these questions.
Look back to last week’s bonus video on Reflection for some tips on how to use
your reflections to target your weaknesses and improve your writing.
-
I
do/do not understand how specific features make an opening compelling.
-
I
think that I did well with… because…
-
But I
struggled with… so next time I will…
My Writing - Burnt Toast
The fox rolled a six and
skipped forward seven spaces, sliding slyly onto Mayfair. I looked up, glairing
sternly, and he stepped back onto Super Tax with a sigh.
“What do you expect,” Badger
said, plucking out a strange little tune on his lute. “He’s never been an
honest investor. And now he’s bankrupt.”
“Am not,” complained the fox,
but he looked down at his dwindling cash with chagrin. “I have Waterworks… Oh,
and your cash is burning.”
“My cash… Badger, can you
play a little quieter?” The scent of burning reached my nose, building as the Badger’s
claws plucked harder.
“Beck, your toast’s done! Turn off that thing and get
down here!”
I
blinked away the dream as I leapt from the bed, shed the shorts and t-shirt
that stood for pyjamas, slid into the shower cubicle and turned the dial. My
hands were already spreading soap as the icy water beat down. Friction warmed
it slightly, but I gritted my teeth and endured, as the water heater jolted
into life. I was soaped and scrubbed and rinsed clean before the shower reached
a comfortable temperature. I cleaned my teeth, whilst combing my hair, then the
world slowed down as I soaped and shaved my face. I haven’t inherited the gene
for the luscious black beard that is my father’s pride and joy, and I couldn’t
get away with the stylishly-rugged look today. So a careful shave, with all its
necessary facial expressions, was a definite must this morning.
I
dressed in smart black trousers and a crisply ironed shirt, then dodged the
toys and catnip mice at the top of the stairs as I descended to the kitchen. A
mug of coffee and a plate of burnt toast waited on the breakfast bar,
glistening with melted butter.
“I still don’t understand why it has to be
burnt,” Jude said, adding a glass of orange juice to the bar.
“It’s good for stress and stops
indigestion,” I answered, slathering a second layer of butter over the first
and taking a bite.
“But THAT,” Jude snatched away the butter
dish, “isn’t doing anything for your heart.” I grinned cheekily as I chewed,
washing it down with sips of coffee.
“How was your shift?”
“Long. And, don’t try to distract me. You
said you were going to pack last night. It’s a bomb-site in there.”
“I made some changes. Had to run it through
again.”
“You need to stop stressing about this.
You’ve practiced this presentation for weeks, love. Finish that – no more
butter – and I’ll pack your gear.”
I
dropped my plate and mug into the dishwasher as I swilled the last mouthful of
orange juice around my mouth, faint traces of toothpaste adding a strange
flavour. The red plastic bowl on the drainer was curiously empty.
“Where’s Badger?” I asked.
“Still asleep on the wardrobe, I guess.”
Came the reply, as Jude carried my briefcase, gym bag and crate of models and
diagrams down the hall to the front door. “Are you ready to go, it’s 6:45.”
“Yup. Next stop A12.”
“Erm… tie and jacket?”
“In the car, I planned ahead. Ok, I’m off.
Do I get a kiss for good luck?”
I
checked my watch as I turned the wheel and the Prius slid smoothly into the
empty carpark. Despite the Monday morning traffic, I was actually early. I
pulled down the visor and checked my smile, there was something between my
teeth, something black. Brushing teeth before breakfast was quicker, but
probably a bad idea today. I reached back for my gym bag; I have a travel kit
in there. I pulled open the zip and a flurry of furious fur and claws came barrelling
out of the bag, yowling like a thing possessed.
A
moment later, as I was fending off Jude’s confused and angry half-Persian, half
demon cat, I became aware of two things; first, that my prospective investor
had just pulled into the parking space next door, and second, that Badger
really doesn’t travel well.
Extension Task
Terminology Check
Do you know all of these words? Look up the ones you're not sure about and add them to your list of words to learn.
Cliché
Intriguing
Antidote
Assonance
Compelling
Onomatopoeia
Surreptitious
Piques
Grand
Humble
Imperative
Metaphor
Simile
Personification
Expressive
Dwindling
Motivation
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